Match of the Day - The one where Kyoko Kimura jumps off a balcony

Kyoko Kimura vs. Kayoko Haruyama - JWP Openweight title match - JWP Pure Slam (2009)

Time for some hardcore female action. Yes I meant to write that, and no I'm not going to change it.

Kyoko Kimura takes on Kayoko Haruyama in a super violent bout that includes an unforgettable balcony spot... yes, this is the match where Kimura jumps off a balcony, landing directly onto Haruyama below:

Kimura also cuts Haruyama with some sort of shank, straggles her with a chain, and trades some pretty stiff-looking strikes. However, everything else is irrelevant once you've seen this balcony spot.

Match of the Day - Another "Shitty" Lego Deathmatch

Shitty vs. Addy Starr - Lego Deathmatch - Inter Species Wrestling Burger King of the Ring (2011)

In honor of the Lego Movie -I haven't seen it so no spoilers - here is another Lego-inspired deathmatch from the human/animal/monster/undead people wrestling promotion out of Quebec, Canada.

This Lego deathmatch is the third in existence from ISW and features the same man who was in the previous colorful connectable building blocks mess of a match and was also in the second (which I have yet to see). The man I'm talking about is Shitty, previously known as Flip, who was brainwashed by Moohammad (the terrorist cow) to be a much shittier person. Shitty's opponent this time around was Addy Starr, a female competitor not afraid to step in the ring with the Lego Deathmatch veteran, but also not afraid to get hardcore with Lego covered kickpads and Lego covered taped fists ablazin'. Addy Starr even dons the D'Lo Brown Lego vest at one point to boost her already Lego-based offense.

It's a messy, and dare I say a "shitty" match, but that's what it was going for. This isn't Flair/Steamboat #169, this is a Lego Deathmatch, a match that requires the most brutal and creative looking spots to do with Lego brand construction toys!

Match of the Day - The king of extreme triangle hardcore match

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow - Falls Count Anywhere Triangle match - WCW Uncensored (1999)

Three guys who made a name for themselves in the extreme promotion known as ECW going head to head to head in a WCW style hardcore match. As an early precursor to WCW's Hardcore title division (a cheap imitation of the hardcore wrestling that had become popular through WWF), all it really was was taking the weapon-oriented style that ECW was using (but not limited to) and cranking it up to 11. So, as you can see from the video above, this match is more about how many things Hak (Sandman), Raven, and Bam Bam Bigelow can hit each other with than it is about being hardcore. Granted, these guys are/were hardcore at one point or another, the match is still just one big mess.

Many people call the backyard wrestling, ultraviolent, sleazy hardcore wresting of today "trash" wrestling, but this match literally looked like trash wrestling with all the crap that littered the ring.

PS: sorry for the sketchy video... it was the best I could find just of this match in its entirety.

Match of the Day - The Callihan/Younger Guerrilla Warfare match

Sami Callihan vs. Drake Younger - Guerrilla Warfare #1 contender's match - PWG All Star Weekend 9 Night 1 (2013)

Speaking of best-of series's and Sami's...

The series of matches between Sami Callihan and Drake Younger are a brutal mix of performing arts and insane indy wrestling nonsense; the opposite of what I said the Zayn/Cesaro match was. But you know what, Callihan/Younger is in another league all by itself.

This Guerrilla Warfare match at All Star Weekend 9 (the first Pro Wrestling Guerrilla show I ever saw, so it holds a special place in my heart) is the third and final match of the Callihan/Younger series in Pro Wrestling Guerrilla and it also serves as a #1 contenders match for Adam Cole's PWG championship the next night. A Guerrilla Warfare match in of itself is an anything goes, hardcore match - a match that neither of these two are new too as both Callihan and Younger have cut their teeth in many violent promotions including CZW, BJW, IWA:MS, and IPW.

This match takes the cake for my favorite hardcore match of the year hands down. It's got chair spots, trashcan spots, staple guns, thumbtacks... hell, even the streamers get hardcore. The best part is that this is not some random slugfest, it's a big blow-off match between two heated rivals who just want to hurt each other. If you wanna get a better feel for this match I would recommend checking this video out that also features the first two matches boiling up to this match (it's a music video but the music doesn't suck).

Match of the Day - ECW's barbed wire TLC match

Sabu vs. Sandman - Stairway To Hell match - ECW House Party (1998)

Even ECW had their own variation to a simple ladder match going in the late 90's to early 00's. The match was called a "Stairway To Hell" match and was much more like a pole match than a ladder match as the object was to retrieve a weapon hanging above the ring for use, but the retrieval did not end the match. The weapon of choice, of course, was a big ball of barbed wire.

This is ECW's first Stairway To Hell featuring the cane wielding, beer drinking, cigarette smoking, Sandman versus the homicidal, genocidal, and incredibility suicidal, Sabu.

Theme Results

TLC: All of 'em.

Match of the Day - Don't ever fuck with Kishin Liger!

Kishin Liger vs. Bad Boy Hido - NJPW (2006)

Kishin Liger is the much darker and sadistic side of Jushin "Thunder" Liger. One could also argue that he is the KISS version of Jushin Liger, but don't let that fool you, this is not the Liger who wants to party all night. No, this is the Liger you definitely do not want to be crossing paths with. First appearing after The Great Muta ripped off his mask in 1996, The "Kishin" character only makes rare appearances when it is most fitting for revenge - such as this match featuring Bad Boy Hido ten years later. Hido, an ultraviolent specialist, thought it would be a wise move to chop some of Liger's hair off...

Let's just say Hido got what he had coming to him.

Match of the Day - Abyss and Desmond Wolfe's Monster's Ball match featuring the hardcore teddy bear!

Abyss vs. Desmond Wolfe - Monster's Ball match - Slammiversary VIII (2010)

Part 1:

In the midst of the the new championship ranking system and Hulk Hogan giving the Monster Abyss his Hall of Fame ring and some Hulkster music/attire, the TNA audience was treated to the small and forgettable (I forgot about it at least) feud between Desmond Wolfe and the Abyster.

The feud all began when Abyss beat Desmond Wolfe (better known as Nigel McGuinness from ROH) and got the services of Wolfe's valet, Chelsea for 30 days.

Part 2:

As Abyss started to show affection for Chelsea, Chelsea also began to show some sort of sympathy for the big monster. This story does not end like King Kong here at Slammiversary in the Monster's Ball match, however. No... instead, as Abyss gives Chelsea a teddy bear covered with barbed wire that Taz dubs the "hardcore teddy bear", Chelsea (who seemed fed up with Wolfe's continuous demands) eventually helps Abyss by tossing Wolfe's brass knuckles to the masked beast. The TNA Fairy tale ending at last!

But not really... Chelsea eventually returns to Desmond Wolfe after the 30 days are up and they ride off into the sunset to find a new life and success in the Impact Zone. Well, maybe not that last part.

Match of the Day - Kyoko Kimura goes bananas on Abdullah Kobayashi in BJW!

Abdullah Kobayashi vs. Kyoko Kimura - Intergender Lighttube Deathmatch - BJW (2006)

Think of this match as less of a wrestling match and more of a horror movie where you actually care about the girl who's being attack by the monster and actually has a chance of winning.

It's tough to watch at some parts, especially if you are not a big fan of the whole 'make sure to break as many lighttubes because it looks cooler' hardcore wrestling mentality, but it's not as tough to watch as an intergender match once you realize how stiff Kyoko Kimura normally works. I haven't watched a lot of Kimura's matches, but the ones I have she is either really nice and friendly or stomping on girls off the tops of balconies. No joke.

Ultraviolent Wednesday.

Match of the Day - RVD van-terminates almost every midcard title in 2002!

Speaking of hardcore Intercontinental Championship matches:

Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Tommy Dreamer (c) - Intercontinental title match/last Hardcore title match - Raw (2002)

In 2002, RVD made (little known) history when he unified the European title with the Intercontinental title after defeating Jeff Hardy (Euro champ) and then faced Hardcore champion Tommy Dreamer in a hardcore unification match a little under a month later. Rob Van Dam with his IC title was pretty much the go-to guy for defuncting a midcard title back then. Maybe if Rob returned to WWE today he could win the IC title and unify it with the US title since, like the Hardcore and European title in 2002, the US title serves zero purposes anymore.

Theme Results:

Final match: final Hardcore title match.

Match of the Day - Jeff Jarrett teaches Chyna how to be a woman in his last match ever in WWF

Hardcore Wednesday:

Jeff Jarrett (c) vs. Chyna - Good Housekeeping match for the Intercontinental title - No Mercy (1999)

In order to prove that Chyna was really a woman, Jeff Jarrett issued a special challenge to the "Ninth Wonder in the World" to put her female skills to the test. The challenge: a Good Housekeeping match. What exactly is a Good Housekeeping match, you ask? Clearly it is a match filled with any sort of object that could be found in the house that women might use. So yep, Jeff Jarrett tried to beat Chyna with everything... including the kitchen sink.

This match is pretty significant not only because it was the first ever match featuring a man and a woman fighting each other with household objects and no one got arrested for domestic abuse on PPV, it was also significant because it was the last WWF/E match for Jeff Jarrett (who was wrestling without a contract and technically wasn't a WWF superstar) and was also the first time that a female wrestle, yep Chyna, won the Intercontinental title or any other title that wasn't in a female division in the WWF/E!

Now, this Good Housekeeping match might sound a little ridiculous and the last hurrah of Vince Russo (who was also leaving for WCW at the time) on paper, but from the looks of the promo shown before the match, this was seemingly one of the better and more well put together rivalries of late-1999. Even if this match revolved around Jarrett trying to hit Chyna with "every household appliance known to woman".

While Jeff Jarrett has yet to step in a WWF/E ring since this match, he did have a run in with Chyna again a couple years back when Kurt Angle brought her out as his "mistress" tag team partner against Jarrett and Angle's former wife, Karen. However, this was after Chyna stopped wrestling and started doing porn instead. So...

Thanks TNA.

Theme results:

Final match: Jeff Jarrett in WWF/E

PS: There were so many jokes for this match and I just couldn't write them all down. My apologies.

Match of the Day - TNA's Hard 10 tournament: where everything's made up and the points don't matter

Hardcore Wednesday

It has come to my attention today that New Jack has retired from wrestling. I guess there's one less liability to worry about.

Rather than posting his retirement match (against Necro Butcher at this years' PWS Super Card), I've decided to just post this match instead for no reason other than I didn't want to post his notorious scaffold match with Vic Grimes yet or any match where he tries to stab his opponent to death.

That's New Jack's thing. Stabbing people to death.

New Jack vs. Sandman - Finals for the Hard 10 championship - NWA:TNA (2003)

Back in '03, TNA decided to add a little hardcore to their menu. So what better way to do this then by making a tournament revolving around a few ECW alumni mixed in with some guys who wrestled a couple times for ECW (Devon Storm, Vampire Warrior, Wolfie D) along with Mike Sanders and Sonny Siaki from WCW's Power Plant. But here's the catch - because this is TNA remember: there's got to be a catch on top of a catch - there was a point system.

A hardcore point system!

Apparently the way to win a match in this tournament was to get 10 points by using the weapons that were strategically placed around the ringside area and held by fans. The weapons that the competitors brought to the ring themselves did not count, however. Also, using a table was 5 big ones alone. So basically this tournament was just an excuse to see wrestlers get hit with random objects for five minutes like WWF's hardcore division circa 2000.

But it had a hardcore point system!

New Jack and Sandman, the two people hardcore enough to make it to the finals, battled it out in a back and forth struggle for points using the weapons they could find just laying around. Towards the end of the match, everyone loses count of the points and New Jack and Sandman make their way to the nearest balcony for New Jack to fall off of.. I mean get pushed off of.

Classic New Jack.

All that's missing is "Natural Born Killaz" being played on repeat throughout the duration of the match.

NFT will miss you, New Jack.

Match of the Day - Insane Clown Posse challenge Mike Awesome and his bus to a hardcore match... and lose

Hardcore Wednesday:

Insane Clown Posse vs. That 70's Guy Mike Awesome - Hardcore handicap match - Monday Night Nitro (2000)

While I'm on the subject of shitty handicap matches...

It's 2000, my mark meter is off the charts, I didn't miss a Hardy Boyz match, and I'm pro-WWF through and through, but for some reason one Monday night I decide to switch the channel over to the competition -  WCW and their Monday night wrestling product, Nitro. I'm not sure why I did it, probably curiosity or some shit like that, but I did it. And guess what I just so happened to stumble upon? Ding ding! This very match...

Now to be fair, before getting into WWF and The Hardyz, I actually watched quite a bit of WCW. But when I tuned into Nitro again for the first time in some time, it didn't look like I remembered it... No, this time, there were two clowns, a guy dressed like the 70's, and the Partridge Family bus. No ring, no NWO, no nothing.

Then it happened, Mike Awesome 'Awesome Bombed' Shaggy 2 Dope on top of the bus and 2 Dope slides off and takes a nasty splat onto the ground. Thanks to this unforgettable match, I believed for some time that handicap matches were matches where someone ends up handicap like that stupid-looking clown on Nitro in 2000.

Theme Results

Non-ring: Mike Awesome's "That 70's" bus.

Match of the Day - Wrestlemania X-Seven's triple threat hardcore title match

Hardcore Wednesday:

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show - Hardcore Tile match - WWF Wrestlemania X-Seven (2001)

In one of the most memorable hardcore Wrestlemania, the hardcore champion, Raven must battle the two biggest wrestlers WWF had in 2001, Kane and the Big Show. 

This hardcore match lasts about a minute in the ring before making its way to the backstage area where many  memorable spots are performed including: Raven getting thrown through a glass window, Raven slipping and almost getting run over by the cart, and Kane and the Big Show going through a door then through a wall. The match ends at the entrance way when the Big Show and Raven both fall off the side of the entrance ramp into a cloud of smoke giving Kane the chance to perform what looks like a blind flying leg drop into the carnage to the side of the ramp. Kane ends up landing on the Big Show and gets the pinfall to become the new hardcore champion at the seventeenth annual Wrestlemania.

Overall a very enjoyable worked match!

During this match we also learn that Paul Heyman's favorite type of snapple is diet peach.

Match of the Day - WCW's ill-fated hardcore division

Hardcore Wednesday

Norman Smiley vs. Brian Knobbs - WCW Mayhem (1999)

In the height of hardcore wrestling in the mainstream, WCW tried to cash in on this new brand of weapon-based wrestling like WWF had successfully done by creating their very own hardcore division. And as the hardcore division was a great way for wrestlers who couldn't really wrestle to prove themselves in a Mick Foley sort of fashion, wrestlers like Brian Knobbs, Hardcore Hak (Sandman in WCW), 3 Count, Crowbar, Carl Ouellet and many others finally had a purpose in life.

So, what better person to win the title during the official crowning match at Mayhem 1999? Fit Finlay? Nope. Hak? Nah. Terry Funk? Not yet...

Turns out it was Screamin' Norman Smiley, the flamboyant, Santino Marella of the late-90's/early 2000's (since he also appealed to kids), wiggly black wrestler who always wrestled in different sports equipment (this match in particular as a Toronto maple Leaf hockey player). I guess that was his thing, I don't remember. And by his thing, I'm talking about the sports equipment gimmick...

Norman Smiley, the unlikely suspect for the hardcore division, actually became the first WCW hardcore champion after defeating Nasty Boy Brian Knobbs thanks to Jimmy Hart who hit his own Managee with a trash can as he was coming out of an elevator backstage. Silly as it may seem though, did it really matter who was hardcore champion at this point? It was already a gimmick division and was already being perfected by WWF anyways.

I still think these sort of hardcore matches are fun to watch regardless of how dumb they may look in retrospect. WCW's hardcore division is still better than watching people whack each other around with fluorescent light tubes any day...

Match of the Day - Shane McMahon: which way did he go? Answer: Down part 1

Shane McMahon vs. Steve Blackman - Hardcore Championship match WWF Summerslam (2000)

This Hardcore Wednesday match has the claim to fame as that match were Shane McMahon, being the spot junky that he is, gets caned off the titantron via "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman and his lethal kendo stick (it's really a singapore cane but whatever). A year later we saw the same drop at Backlash (McMahon vs. Big Show) but this time it was Shane-O-Mac jumping off the titantron rather than falling. The latter gets remembered a bit more while this match is really only remembered as that one match were Shane McMahon had the Hardcore title and the 24/7 rule was suspended so these two "marvelous athletes" could actually have a real (hardcore) match.

The contrast or Steve Blackman's use of weapons with his martial arts background and Shane McMahon's never-stay-down underdog attitude is also very fun to watch.

Match of the Day - Jeff Hardy vs. the imploding table

Hardcore Wednesday:

Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam - Hardcore Title match Smackdown! (2001)

Just four nights after their ladder match at Summerslam (this was back when Smackdown! was on Thursdays), Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam would once again face of for the Hardcore Title. This time around though it wasn't a ladder match, but Jeff Hardy being the uncontrollable showstopper that he is/was, decided that it would be in his best interest to incorporate the ladder for all the fans that didn't watch Summerslam that year. Unfortunately for Hardy, his swanton bomb spot off the ladder onto a table did not pay off for him like it has many, many, many times before. See instead of leading on RVD from the 20 foot ladder, RVD rolls off the ladder leaving Hardy to implode - and I'm serious when I say that so I'm going to say it again - implode(!) the table below with all of his weight and momentum.

Above is an abridged version of this match as the whole versions that are available online are much to grainy to watch. The version shown above best sums up this opening match on Smackdown! in September of 2001 though. Jeff Hardy explodes a table into little pieces with his body.

This is also the third Match of the Day in a row where the contest ends with no definitive hand raised, "you're the winner" outcome as Jeff Hardy was unable to come back from the drop he took onto the imploding table.

All in all, this isn't the best match between Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam, but it is one that is seemingly forgotten.

I'll never forget it though.

PS: If you'd like to check out the very grainy first half of this match, it is worth the watch as it features the old Smackdown! "Beautiful People" and the "this is not PG rated and has flashing lights program" warning. Good times!

Match of the Day - The one where Mankind wrestles in a tux

Hardcore Wednesday:

Mankind (c) vs. Ken Shamrock - First ever Hardcore Title match Raw (1998)

In Mankind's first defense as the Hardcore Champion, a title awarded to him by Mr. McMahon, against Ken Shamrock the Intercontinental champ at the time, Mankind, believing he was now corporate material dons a new tuxedo for this fine occasion.

Of course, like Ken Shamrock who uses his own body as a weapon, Mankind uses much of his attire to attack Ken Shamrock in this anything goes, falls count anywhere match.

All in all, this is a good introduction to the hardcore title. While there wasn't a lot of weapons and gimmick-y hardcore stunts pulled (other than Mankind beating Shamrock with his own shoes), this match and it's hardcore-ness relies heavily on the fact that these two characters are hardcore themselves. Both were also deranged which helped a great deal as well.

Later down the line, Hardcore title defenses in WWF became a lot more of a quick and easy treat for the audience. Especially with the introduction of  weapons and the 24/7 rule that was later adapted to the title, things got a little more easier for wrestlers who weren't naturally brutal or straight-up "hardcore" like Mankind and Ken Shamrock were. It is still always fun to watch all the interesting twists and spots wrestlers pulled when the 24/7 - or just the fact that they could go anywhere to win it - rule was around.

Good stuff.

Match of the Day - Bob Holly becomes the "Hardcore championship"

Al Snow vs. Bob Holly - St. Valentine's Day Massacre: In Your House (1999)

It was either this or Al Snow wrestling himself.

Seriously though, this match actually came about because Al Snow decided to wrestle himself for the Hardcore title one night on Raw. It wasn't too long after Al had smacked his head with the microphone, hit himself with a chair, fire extinguished his face, broke a broom over his dome, and moonsaulted a table did his J.O.B. squad teammate, Bob Holly come out to talk some sense into him.

Sense was something Al could not grasp at this time however, and a hardcore match was set up at the Valentine's Day themed In Your House PPV between the two teammates, thus ending the J.O.B. Squad and turning Bob Holly into 'Hardcore' Holly.

Also at this time, Al Snow and Road Dogg were co-holders of the Hardcore title. Since Road Dogg was "injured backstage" and couldn't compete, the title was stripped of him and up for grabs in this match.

Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly by Stinger1981

This match is pretty much a lost gem brought back to life by the WWE after they put it on their Falls Count Anywhere compilation DVD released earlier this year. It features Al and Bob fighting all over the arena, even outside and into the Mississippi River where Bob ends up wrapping Al in some wire fencing for the win.

Overall reaction to the match: While I remember renting this event on VHS at a local Blockbuster by my house as a kid, I truthfully can not recall watching this match. I remember the Blue Meanie/Bluedust/Goldust match, The Last Man Standing match between Mankind and The Rock, and, more clearly than the rest, the steel cage main event match between Mr. McMahon and Stone Cold where Paul Wight (Big Show) climbs out from under the mat and slams the rattlesnake right out of the cage... But I do not remember this match. 

It happened though, and this is proof. 

This is the match that Bob Holly really cemented himself as "hardcore". Before this he was a jobber/NASCAR driver named Thurman "Sparky" Plugg, a member of the failed attempt at a new 'Midnight Express' as "Bombastic Bob", or just a midcard wrestler in a jobber faction. So after winning this match and proving himself to be hardcore material, Bob became actully became somebody. he became Hardcore Holly, a very rough and tough SOB. 

Here's to two of the most underrated superstars in WWE history.

Bonus: "Bob Holly becomes the fourth hardcore "CHAMPIONSHIP" in WWF history." - Thanks Michael Cole for that wonderfully botched analysis.