Match of the Day - Insane Clown Posse challenge Mike Awesome and his bus to a hardcore match... and lose

Hardcore Wednesday:

Insane Clown Posse vs. That 70's Guy Mike Awesome - Hardcore handicap match - Monday Night Nitro (2000)

While I'm on the subject of shitty handicap matches...

It's 2000, my mark meter is off the charts, I didn't miss a Hardy Boyz match, and I'm pro-WWF through and through, but for some reason one Monday night I decide to switch the channel over to the competition -  WCW and their Monday night wrestling product, Nitro. I'm not sure why I did it, probably curiosity or some shit like that, but I did it. And guess what I just so happened to stumble upon? Ding ding! This very match...

Now to be fair, before getting into WWF and The Hardyz, I actually watched quite a bit of WCW. But when I tuned into Nitro again for the first time in some time, it didn't look like I remembered it... No, this time, there were two clowns, a guy dressed like the 70's, and the Partridge Family bus. No ring, no NWO, no nothing.

Then it happened, Mike Awesome 'Awesome Bombed' Shaggy 2 Dope on top of the bus and 2 Dope slides off and takes a nasty splat onto the ground. Thanks to this unforgettable match, I believed for some time that handicap matches were matches where someone ends up handicap like that stupid-looking clown on Nitro in 2000.

Theme Results

Non-ring: Mike Awesome's "That 70's" bus.

Match of the Day - Santino's cross-dressing alter ego, Miss Piggie, & a big pile of shit

Santina Marella vs. Vickie & Chavo Guerrero - Handicap Hog Pen match for the title of Miss Wrestlemania - WWE Extreme Rules (2009)

Get a load of this shit:

I don't know where to start with this match. I mean, it's got Santino Marella in drag as his "twin sister" Santina taking on Vickie Guerrero who somehow won a Miss Wrestlemania (during some 'Mania filler I must have missed while taking a bathroom break) with the help of her nephew, Chavo in his "nice" clothes. Oh yeah, and there's a hog pen full of shit. And I'm not just taking about this match or The King's constant botching beforehand either.

While the first hog pen match featuring the Connecticut Blue Blood, Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Henry Orpheus Godwinn - whose initials cleverly make out the word HOG - started in the ring and eventually made its way to the pig sty where the loser was whoever got thrown in first, most hog pen matches today are placed next to the stage and start and finish in the  pen.

So yeah.. It's a pretty shitty match.

Theme Results

Non-ring: Hog Pen

Match of the Day - WWE's first "real" handicap match

Big Show vs. Zack Gowen & Stephanie McMahon - No Holds Barred Handicap match - WWE Smackdown! (2003)

In Zack Gowen's first official match on Smackdown!, the youngster had to prove that he had just what it takes to be a true competitor in WWE by defeating the 500 pound Big Show and seizing an official contract out of Vince McMahon's cold dead hands. Throw Stephanie McMahon, the General Manager at the time, in there and you got yourself a classic pro wrestling Cinderella story.

Did I mention Zack Gowen is a one-legged wrestler? Oops, that was important.

Anyways...

As Zack Gowen was a legitimate amputee and Stephanie McMahon couldn't wrestle to save her life, this truly was WWE's first "real" handicap match.

Get it?

Thanks to face Kurt Angle, face Brock Lesnar, and a steel chair, Gowen's Cinderella story comes true and he gets his contract. The icing on the cake? A combination of Gowen's rival and soon-to-be boss, Mr. McMahon getting knocked on his ass and Gowen's perfect one-legged moonsault onto Big Show for the win!

Gowen's time in WWE was very short-lived despite making it to Vengeance of that year in a match against Mr. McMahon and a short rivalry with Matt Hardy Version 1. I remember him having a broken leg (that's right, the one leg he has) courtesy of Brock Lesnar (heel again) and then never really seeing him on Smackdown! much after that. I guess once you break a one-legged man's only leg you really can't do much else with him. His character was pretty much dead from that point on.