Song of the Day - Anonymous

SSQ - Anonymous from Playback (1983)

80's music that sounds like music today that sounds like 80's music.

Featured in the visually-pleasing 1983-but-in-2010 sci-fi, Beyond the Black Rainbow.

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Match of the Day - The no DQ loser leaves town for 30 days coal miner's glove tuxedo steel cage match!

Speaking of stipulations inside a steel cage match...

Ted DiBiase vs. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan - No DQ Loser Leaves Town Coal Miner's Glove Tuxedo Steel Cage match - Mid-South Wrestling (1985)

Say what you want about this ridiculous sounding match starring a crazed Jim Duggan and a beardless Ted DiBiase in tuxedos, it definitely made sense at the time. At least, that's what I have heard...

The object of the match was pretty simple really, get locked in a cage with your tux on and if you could retrieve the coal miner's glove (a big glove loaded with a bar of metal on the knuckles) you could use it as much as you wanted without being DQ'd or the match stopping. Once there was a definitive winner, the loser had to leave with their tail tucked between their legs and stay away for 30 days. There was also no time limit.

Got it?

Song of the Day - Indian Summer

Beat Happening - Indian Summer from Jamboree (1988)

That time of year again.

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Match of the Debut - The most perfect debut!

"Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig vs. Mike Richards - WWF Wrestling Challenge (1988)

Curt Hennig might have had a small run back in the early 80's with WWF, but after jumping ship to AWA and making a name for himself as a top star and title holder, it was only a matter of time before he returned to the federation with a new attitude and the title of "Mr. Perfect".

Of course, Hennig would back up his perfect role not only in the ring but outside of it by doing sporty things perfectly with sporty famous people.

Song of the Day - You're the Best

Joe Esposito - You're the Best from The Karate Kid Soundtrack (1984)

You're the best around...

Nothing's ever going to keep you down.

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Match of the Day - From mega-man to mega-flop: the brief Tom Magee story

Tom Magee vs. Hiroshi Wajima - AJPW (1988)

Tom Magee seemingly had it all: a great look, super strong, agile, and even a martial arts background right up there with his multiple strongman and powerlifting accomplishments. It only made sense that he would be the next big thing in the WWF.

But the man they called "MegaMan" became mega-flop just after a couple of years in the business. As legend has it, Tom Magee had everything going for him and more that he was going to the next Hulk Hogan in no time. But as time went by, it was clear that Magee had what was called Warren Harding Syndrome in that Blink book I had to read in high school - he had the look but just wasn't a good president, or in Magee's case, a good professional wrestler.

In this match from All Japan in 1988, Tom Magee shows us that cartwheels and being ripped to the moon doesn't make you a good worker. Magee eventually finds himself in a Boston crab by his opponent Hiroshi Wajima that he can not bear and calls it quits. Less than three minutes into the match.

Match of the Day - The match that really started it all!

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner - WrestleMania I (1985)

What better way to open WrassleMania week than with the match that started it all. I'm not talking that Hulk Hogan and Mr. T/Rowdy Roddy piper and "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff match - uh uh -I'm talking Chico Santana versus The Executioner! The first ever WrestleMania match!

Any smart mark will tell you that this bout between the masked and very unknown Executioner (not to be confused with Terry Gordy's Executioner) and Tito Santana was really what started "the Grandest Stage of Them All", making it more than just "the Okay Stage for Some".

Don't believe me? Just listen to comments that these two athletes were echoing through Madison Square Garden at each other that night! 

Tito Santana would go on to wrestle in the next seven WM's until WM IX when he competed in the dark match before the show.

Theme results:

Wrestlemania: WMI

Song of the Day - Easter Woman

The Residents - Easter Woman from The Commercial Album (1980)

Happy Easter!

Doesn't really have anything to do with Easter...

But I love The Commercial Album.

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Match of the Day - Bunkhouse Battle Royal

WWF Bunkhouse Battle Royal - WWF Boston Garden House Show (1987)

Here's a perfect send-off for theme week, it's a mid/late-80's come as you are, wear what you want Bunkhouse Battle Royal.

This battle royal features many great and/or forgotten 80's superstars in their street clothes including: Don Muraco, Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart (first to be eliminated), Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, Jimmy Jack Funk, Danny Spivey, Mr. Fuji (in a suit), Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Hillbilly Jim, Dick Slater, Scotty Mcghee (gets carried out via stretcher), Sika, The Islanders, "Cowboy" Bob Orton, Corporal Kirschner, King Kong Bundy, Pre-I.R.S. Mike Rotundo, The Duke of Dorchester (not to be confused with Duke the Dumpster), some guy dressed up as a knight, and Blackjack Mulligan (the winner).

Blackjack Mulligan comes up with the win after help from The Duke who hits King Kong Bundy with a chair allowing Mulligan time to take off his cowboy boot and clock Bundy over his big noggin before being pushed out of the ring.

This little piece of history comes from an early Coliseum Video exclusive called, WWF's Even More Unusual Matches. 

Match of the Day - First ever match at Royal Rumble

In honor of Royal Rumble weekend, the next couple of days will be Royal Rumble related:

Ricky Steamboat vs Rick Rude - WWF Royal Rumble (1988)

Part 1

Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and "Ravishing" Rick Rude and their epic battle here has the distinctive honor of being the first match at the first Royal Rumble in 1988.

And by epic battle, I mean long of course...

Part 2

This match is probably remembered most as that match where Ricky Steamboat forgets to keep his arm up after the two previous arm drops to check if he had passed out from Rude's Camel Clutch-type submission hold or not. Some say it was the ref, Dave Hebner's fault for this seemingly botched count as well, but as it is clear that Steamboat was not unconscious and quickly raises his arm on the fourth try it sure looks as if Steamboat may have just forgotten which arm drop he was on.

Part 3

The match ends with Rick Rude shoving Dave Hebner in the way causing Hebner to receive Steamboat's flying crossbody which led to Rude's disqualification.

Directly after this match was the Dino Bravo segment where he "breaks" a world record by bench pressing 715 pounds thanks to Jesse Ventura. Yes, Jesse "The Body" Ventura.

Match of the Day - The New Breed put the spacelock on T

The New Breed vs. The Armstrongs (Brad & Bob) - NWA: Jim Crocket Promotions (1987)

A couple of days ago I introduced this blog to the glorious gimmick of Hector Guerrero as Lazor-Tron, the masked laser-tagger from outer space. But what I failed to mention was that Lazor-Tron may have actually been not only a real robot but a decepticon. Yes, decepticon - as in the evil robots from Transformers!

How do I know this? The New Breed told me.

The team of Sean Royal and Chris Champion AKA The New Breed were a due of young time traveling cool dudes from 2002; a  2002 from a parallel dimension where Dusty Rhodes was the president and the Rock 'n' Roll Express were being used for medical experiments. They were also probably the coolest forgotten heel tag team of the 80's.
h the recently passed-on Brad and Bob Armstrong. And while this match saw no official winners, you could certainly tell that The New Breed were way before their time - because they were - and really were the winners of this match which was stop due to the time limit.

Unfortunately, like a lot of things in life, The New Breed was short-lived, due in part by Sean Royal's car accident and Chris Champion's hand injury leading the team to lose their push and . Eventually Sean Royal would walk out of the wrestling business leaving Champion to work alone before becoming Yoshi Kwan (an Asian-themed wrestler). Champion was also one of the Ninja Turtles from USWA.

A little side note that I find kind of interesting but quite unfortunate is that Chris Champion would later have a stroke (due to drugs and what have you) which left him in real bad shape. This jut happened have taken place in 2002; the year The New Breed were from.

My theory is that this is why The New Breed time-traveled back to the mid to late 80's; to wrestle back  at the prime of tag team wrestling as well as to somehow try to reverse terrible events that had transpired. They also had to go back in time in seek revenge on Lazer-Tron and "Boogie Woogie Man" Jimmy Valiant just because.

Song of the Day - Mother

Danzig - Mother from Danzig (1988)

It's my mom's birthday today.

Last.fm

Match of the Day - The Protector of the Children, Lazor-Tron!

Lazor-Tron vs. Tommy Angel - NWA: Jim Crockett Promotions (mid-80's)

Lazor-Tron (also spelled Lazortron or Lazer-Tron or Lazertron or Laser Tron) was a supreme laser-tag fighting machine from another planet (preferably one where laser-tag was much more of a way of life than a recreational activity) who would just so happen to beam himself down to Jim Crockett promotions in the mid-80's.

Of course, today we know that this masked Lazor-Tron was actually Hector Guerrero, Brother of Eddie, Mando, and Chavo Classic, in disguise. Back then though people didn't have a clue who Lazor-Tron was - but they loved him. Despite being a pretty terrible-looking gimmick, Lazor-Tron was actually a huge fan-favorite and crowd pleaser for the most part. Plus, Hector Guerrero was actually one hell of a wrestler; probably the only reason he survived as well as he did.

Unfortunately for Hector and his natural gift of wrestling, it always seemed like promotions just wanted to put a terrible gimmick on him like his Guerrero name wasn't enough. Gees, look at The Gobbledy Gooker... that giant turkey could of actually been a damn good competitor in the ring if Hector and his bird suit weren't canned just after his first night in WWF at the 1990 Survivor Series for having the worst gimmick in the history of worst gimmicks.

Poor Hector. It's okay though, he works for TNA now.

Ouch.

Overall reaction to the match: Oh yeah the match... well other than the fact that everything about this match is trying to put me to sleep and that we are supposed to believe that Lazor-Trons' finisher using his special space-technology arm pads to the chest renders his opponent unconscious, I think this is a fairly decent example of Hector doing the best he could with what he had.

PS: I have no idea what "the protector of the children" business that Tony Schiavone was talking about in the match... maybe when Lazor-Tron was not wrestling, he would play laser-tag with kids from rough neighbors in space! That's the kind of shit heroes are made out of right there...

PSS: Lazor-Tron would have kicked Max Moon's ass. End of story.

Match of the Day - The Snake vs. The Dragon!

Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts - WWF Saturday Night's Main Event (1986)

This classic between Ricky Steamboat and Jake Roberts, best known as the match Steamboat would reveal his own mascot, is the feud's so-called rubber match; a match that settled the score after Roberts had attacked Steamboat before their match on Saturday Night's Main Event a few months back (remember when feuds lasted longer than a few weeks?) in the incident where Roberts DDT'ed Steamboat on the floor (something that had never before been seen) and then Steamboat later getting a win over Roberts in a no DQ Snake Pit match on The Big Event.

While this grunge match saw Ricky Steamboat as the victor, Jake Roberts as the heel he was continued to attack Steamboat after the match. Roberts eventually looks to finish off Steamboat with his snake Damien but is taken aback as Steamboat pulls out his own secret weapon from a bag on his corner of the ring in the form of a komodo dragon! Jake the Snake then tucks his tail between his legs and flees the ring leaving Steamboat and his "dragon" to celebrate the end of this well played out feud.

Overall reaction to this match: Personally all I have to say about this match is that growing up I always thought that Steamboat's dragon was a crocodile. That being said, I actually have a little bit of fear of giant lizards like komodo dragons which is funny in an almost sad way because Mattel recently released a Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat action figure that comes packed with a playful looking green komodo dragon... putting a fear of mine pretty much to shame:

What a minute... that's definitely an alligator or crocodile of some kind!

Despite the package of this action figure mentioning Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat's memorable komodo dragon moment on SNME w/ Jake Roberts, I'm pretty sure that that is the alligator/crocodile (with the red thingy attached to it) from a different Jake Roberts/Ricky Steamboat confrontation.

Clearly I was not the only one to notice this as Tomopop, a "Collectible Toy Culture" review site also caught this lil' tidbit as well. Check it out!

I've still yet to find what what match that was were this alligator in question comes from and if it was ever taped but once I do I will most definitely share my finds right here on NFT's Song and Match of the day!

Match of the Day - Jerry Lawler pokes Terry Funker's eye out

Jerry "The King" Lawler vs. Terry Funk - CWA (Memphis Wrestling) (1981)

First of, Jerry Lawler is a lover of chickens.

This has to be up there as one of my favorite gimmick matches of all time. No fans, no refs, no police, no rules, no winner... just Jerry Lawler versus crazy-since-the-dawn-of-time, Terry Funk.

All Funk wanted was a match one-on-one with The King of Memphis to prove once and for all that Funk is a better man than Lawler (or that he's a yellow pig or something along those lines). So, the Funkster decides to invite Lawler to an empty arena match in the Mid-South Coliseum at 1 o'clock sharp, and while Lawler didn't seem too into it at the time, Lawler would eventually show up - crown and all.

The best part of this angle had to have been Terry Funk cussing-out The King as he was seemingly going to no-show on Funk's invitation. Terry even tries to count-out Lawler, but of course, Lawler had to pull through with Funk's challenge and make his appearance. After all, Jerry Lawer was the biggest name in Memphis at the time, he definitely could not have been seen as "yellow" or, even worse, as a coward!

One of my favorite lines from this match comes from Terry Funk when Jerry Lawler finally arrives and Funk, seeing that Lawler has brought his cape and crown, shouts, "Hey Lawler, come on up here. I'm gonna brake your crown. I'm gonna brake his crown, Lance...".

Unfortunately for Terry Funk however, Jerry Lawler ends up getting the best of him as Funk's plan of blinding The King with a spike made of wood backfires and Funk ends up with his eye poked out (Lawler kicked Funk's elbow with sent the spike right into his poor eye). This terrible turn of events - which Funk rightfully deserved - left the Funkster crying in pain as Lawler fled the scene unharmed with his reputation unscratched.

This is no Flair/Funk five star match, but it damn sure is a classic.

Match of the Day - Valentine/Piper dog collar classic

Greg Valentine vs. Roddy Piper - Starrcade (1983)

This classic from the first-ever Starrcade back in 1983 (that's before Wrestlemania, oh my), is probably one of the most brutal and dare I say, most hardcore matches of the 80s. Yes there was lots of bloody cage matches around this time (along with Ric Flair blading since he was old enough to handle razors), but this match, this feud if you will, backed up by the fact that this was a dog collar match - not just a strap match where the two combatants are held together by the wrist with a leather strap or rope, but a steel chain - made this match one intense confrontation.

This was no gimmick match.

This back and forth style battle ends with Roddy Piper covering Valentine up with the help of the chain, but Piper does not get the chance to celebrate his victory in this non-titled match (Valentine was the US heavyweight champ at the time) as Valentine would assault Piper from behind and beat a mud-hole in the rowdy-one with the chain until the ref gingerly tells him to stop and Valentine leaves the ring.

Good stuff.